Girl Talk: Checking the Baggage

If you work in an environment where computers are a big part of work getting done you are bound to have a day when no work gets done because the computers are down. If you do and you don't well then sucks to be you because those moments are the best ever. Today was one of those standstill moments. Aside from running an errand (won't say how long I was gone for) I had the opportunity to chat it up with a co-worker (thank you girl for the inspiration).

What better topic to discuss while waiting for the computer system to come back on line then men and relationships. While my relationship life may be complicated officially I am single she is most definitely single and looking. Her being single like most of us at the end of the day...real talk is solely her choice because she is not with the bullshyt baggage that some men try to bring with them. Now that she is on the dating scene she has become just a tad more vigilant in the type of man she will accept in her life and the behaviors that she will tolerate from jump. In another words she has become cautious.

Being cautious isn't as bad as some HATERS may think. At the end of the day everyone should exhibit some type of caution when embarking on what can be a life altering experience. I mean think about it. Does it really make sense to get burned twice??? If we are honest with ourselves yeah you then we can admit that at some point in our life probably even now we allowed ourselves to become subdued and accepting of man bullshyt. It's cool, it happens to the best of us and there is no need to go beating yourself over it. The important thing to come to terms with is that when you do decide to kick that baggage to curve make sure you put it out on trash day so that it can't find its way back to your house that should be the last time you tolerate whatever bullshyt that was going down. There is no need to become that hardcore B*tch that some men complain about. Rather become a woman with standards. By now, you should know the generics of what is acceptable in a relationship if you don't go buy a book...there are plenty of them out there. At the end of the day it is all about RESPECT SANG it Aretha. If you have a good foundation, then you already know what it is that you deserve...claim it! Put your foot down and acknowledge to yourself that there is no reason why HIStory has to repeat itself. Pull out that pad and paper and write down what it is that you will not tolerate and why you won't tolerate it. Periodically review that list and make revisions. You may find yourself crossing our or adding more things. At the end it really doesn't matter as long as you don't keep going in a desperate circle. Your life should not become what soap operas and reality shows are made of. The reindeer games to the hunters.

It just makes sense to start off as you mean to finish. At the first sign of bad behavior it needs to be addressed. Do not let it fester. That is bad business and will only get you where you were before. Sometimes a pass can be granted but sometimes it is just a no go or as they say on twitter #FAIL. When those behaviors seem like they emulate the "player" mentality that he was so big on you may as well cut your losses. When he tries to play you for some kind of fool pin a tail on him and let him know he's the donkey now. The fact of the matter is that truthfully, life is really to short. If he can't come correct then it's a no bueno for him and like the song goes...on to the next one.

Smooches,
Divine

The misguided child

A few weeks ago, I was approached by a young boy, approximately 13 years of age for a dollar. Here I was minding my business in Target (french accent) and this young African-American Male approaches me (never saw him before) for money. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. I wasn't in the train where it is apparent that everyone thinks that it is a charity system. I was shopping. Shocked as I was I decided to determine why he needed this dollar before I decided whether I should give it to him. When I asked him, he stated that he wanted to buy a football game but was a dollar short. While I did not approve of him going up to strangers asking for money I understood the desire to want something and be a dollar short (or leave the whole wallet at home by accident). I decided in that moment, that I would give him the dollar and I told him as much.

Now some are wondering why I gave him this dollar. It's simple. I did not not want to be at the register watching this boy go out in handcuffs over a video game. Granted I do believe that it was totally not cool that this "child" felt comfortable enough to walk up to a stranger and ask for money but the fact of the matter is that he did and I had the opportunity to prevent another black marker against the black man. The truth of the matter is, can I really blame him for walking up to me asking for money?

In a time, when so many children are growing up in broken homes with broken parents are children being taught the values that so many of us can joke about as adults. Lets be real...for the most part none of us would have dared walk up to a stranger asking for money. Hell how about we knew not to walk up to a stranger period. We were raised to be seen and not heard, speak when spoken too. do as I say and not as I do. We understood that it was okay for us to get beat in public and we felt things such as paddles, extension cords, broomsticks, and any other item that was handy when in the split second it was decided to beat us. We understood that we talked to adults in a certain way. If we were in our neighborhood and did something wrong we were in trouble before we even got home. Sometimes we got in trouble right there. That's how we were raised. Fast forward to today. We live in a world where parents are afraid to beat their children for fear of going to jail. Children feel comfortable being disrespectful to adults. Community parenting no longer exist. If you see something, mind your business. This and so much more has contributed
to the misguided child.

The idea that, "it takes a village to raise a child" for the most part has ceased to exist. The truth is that it does take a village and the children who are raised out of this village are at a disadvantage. Everyone in a village has some unique type of knowledge to share and if a child received this knowledge by the time they reached adulthood they would be a well-rounded individual. For the spiritual person, one would accept that the children of today are a sign of the times. My theory, they may be a sign of the sign but that doesn't mean that you stop doing what you should. Children need a lot of things but most importantly they need love and discipline. These two things help to shape who they will be as an adult. Hopefully, they will turn out as great as you or I but honestly, I hope they will turn out even better.